Apathetic me

Last Friday I met with my running coach (Mike Hummel) to talk about my attitude. I wanted to be honest with him and express how I was feeling about running. Having never been a runner, I am learning all the facets of running + training and discipline all at the same time.

I told him I would find myself trying to cut corners during my runs or I would look for ways to get out of getting my miles in for the day. Its been a weird emotion because on the one hand, I know what I should be doing (getting my miles in for the day) but the other half of me wants to quit and sleep in. I hate struggling like this.

Looking back on my life, running is so much easier than dealing with my hurts, habits and hangups. Its so much easier to run 7 miles than to be less defensive and pride-less

I asked Hummel, “Am I being a baby?? Am I being too sensitive about all this?” In his loving and coach like manner he gently replied, “YES!”. He told me that all runners feel that way. He loves to run. Loves it almost as much as he loves his wife, but he said that sometimes we just don’t want to. Sometimes he has those days, weeks, when he has to push through and get that 4 mile in or his 100 yrd. sprint.  All runners go through this apathetic emotion.

Hummel said the only difference between me and most runners is, I was honest about my feelings and chose to deal with them in a healthy, productive way rather than be defensive and passive aggressive about the task at hand.

I guess in the end the one thing I have learned from this….running is hard. It takes more than muscle and cardio strength to do it. Its about will, determination and discipline.  And on the days when I want to quit, I remember all the people out there who need me to be their voice by standing up to demand?Awareness of everyday hurts and struggles.  So one more time I put on my shoes and run it out.

Looking forward to October!

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Apathetic me

  1. Anna

    Don’t be a baby! 😛 Isn’t it amazing how once you verbalize things, they often lose power? Take back the power!

  2. Funny how we get that way sometimes! Keep it up, this time will pass and you will have all the motivation back!

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