I have been struggling over the past several weeks with learning how to re-live life in a new body. I have been overweight the majority of my life, so learning how to accommodate my new body to what I thought of as confines in this world has proved challenging.
Only recently I have made the transition in my head that I am not severely obese anymore and can fit into regular clothes. In fact, I am starting to look like a regular, average, every day woman. For whatever reason, fear gripped me and I found myself struggling to accept having to re-learn how to do normal everyday tasks. For example, two nights ago I realized I did not have to walk up the stairs a certain way anymore. I could now walk up the stairs like a normal person. In fact, I can do it even better than the normal person because I actually have a lot of strength in my legs as well as my heart.
I was allowing myself to become defeated by new tasks until I realized something monumentous. One of my favorite singers Dr. Bernice Johnson Reagon once said, “Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.”
I don’t want my life to keep me from living. I want my life to show me more life. I know I have lots more to give before God is done with me here.
So today I made a decision not to let positive changes or the Devil prevent me from seeing the beauty of change I get to experience. So long as I am able I will not allow my thoughts to keep from experiencing the glory God has for me.
After talking to my friend Tammy, she helped me see that these changes are wonderful and exciting. I admit, I don’t see as clearly as she does, just yet, but I am much more willing to learn to see them this way. It’s going to be like everything else in my life. I am going to have to take it one step at a time, only focusing on one task as a time.
“Being stuck is a position few of us like. We want something new but cannot let go of the old-old ideas, beliefs, habits, even thoughts. We are out of contact with our own genius. Sometimes we know we are stuck; sometimes we don’t. In both cases we have to do something”. -Inga Teekens